its over

A said "awak puasa x ni?? time mcm ni la nak berubah" + sedih + kecik hati+ moddy+sabar+puasa+ lunch + jumpa mr X + confirm aprtment 4 A + bad day + mr X=asshole + jatuh tangga + terseliuh + still sad + crying + balik ofis + wat keje byk2 + lupakan pasal A+ wont work+ solat + x kusyuk + arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh + sleepy+ sms wif A + dia mengaku he's avoiding me + heart broken+ numb+ cant sleep + thausand miscalls + dont 1 hear his voice + finally over A&H + ALLAH kuatkan imanku+ cant sleep + ular masuk rumah + afraid @ scared like hell+ famili tarawikh+ aiya!!!! + masuk bilik + sms lil bro nazir till fall asleep + cant breath + asthma again + relax till fall asleep again + almost 3am + kak azimah sent mms pic anak die + cute sgt+ happy @jelez + miss A so much + dream 2 have family wif him juz a dream now + ="( + asthma again + arghhhhhhhhh + sahur + subuh (twice) x kusyuk + still think bout A + V sms + blog + try 2 sleep + da ol +.. happy fasting + going 2 work again 2day + v need me + xtrmly sad n missing A + worried bout my doc +3sum 4 my bday? hell no!

x faham..

salam..
hr ni ade class... from 8.30am till 6.30pm.. start dgn class law.. huhu..best gak la claz hr ni..madam byk kasi tips 4 final exam..hope melekat smpi ke otak... 2day ada quiz 4 mandarin..huhuhu..sux.. i noe..ingtkan spelling jer.. rupanya translation gak...adui... nerves...huhuhu..sedih gile..xleh nak jawab...huhuhu... xde mood dah...
after zohor got etnik class...huhuh..sleeeeeeepy... tiba2 jer hujan lebat n ade kilat2 sume..(takut gak ngan kilat actually)..sejuk...adeh... tiba2 jer macam sesak nafas...asma lagi ker..adui...doa byk2...nak tamatkan puasa hr ni..try gak bertahan...tuhan jer tau..rs nak menangis jer..huhuh..dugaan ramadahan... now..crius pblm.. kene jalan dlm hujan nak g next class...dgn hujan nye...kilat nye...adui.... camne ni...doa byk2 dlam hr..hope sgt hujan stop kjap... tapi...almost 30mins tunggu hujan makin membasahi bumi.(huhuhu)...nak xnak redah jer...adui..basah kuyup... xleh nak jalan or lari laju2..tkt jatuh coz sandal licin..huhuhu...akhirnya smpi gak class...basah..menampakkan ape yg x sepatutnya nmpk..huhuh..sejuk gile...nafas pun makin sesak..kuatkan la imanku..huhuh...nasib baik sir x masuk g...try 2 calm down..mtk tolong kwn2 lain pinjamkan baju sejuk..huhuh...bibir merah dah jadi kebiruan...nak ambik inhaler x...ambik ke x...huhuhuh...juz another 3 hours 2 bebuka...tahan...try rehat jap...sir hairan bila nmpk mk pucat mcm hantu..sir suruh balik..tp xnak la.. last class 4 2day..huhuh... xmo la... ckit2...ckit2...sir ade tolong gak bacakan something..huhuh..alhamdulillah..ok ckit... abang ambik around 6pm coz student islam dibenarkan balik awal n around 645pm smpi..sempat gak berbuka dgn famili..alahamdulillah..huhuhu..happy sedih n tired...

huhuhu...hr ni...tension ckit coz a guy yang ckp nak tolong carikkan aprtment tuk A x call..tunggu 1 hr...tp xde pun.. inform dgn A...die buat dek jer..kecik ati..mcm x dihargai pun..sedih tau x.. bersungguh carikkan tuk dia..tp dia..huhuhu... xnak la mtk ape2..juz layan mesra ckit mcm dulu la.. ni x..mcm dah xde perasaan langsung..huhuhu...sedih...biarlah..xmo carikan tuk dia..niat nak tolong jer..xperlah...sapelah i ni kan... im nothing...hy dicari bila diperlukan...im juz a thing 2 him..huhuhuh....

1st ramadhan...1430

salam... salam ramadhan tuk suma... dugaan xde la trk sgt... juz now xleh makan ubat on time.. so time sakit2 tu kena tahan sikit la....xper...dugaan... hari ni bday my mum...happy bday my mum...love u so much... dia masak nasi ayam hari ni...superb...nice sgt2...thanx mum..she noe anak ppuan dia sorang ni nak sgt makan nasi ayam...huhuh...alhamdulillah...dapat...huhuhu...
td sibuk cari rumah tuk ayen... dapat a few respond..tp x confirm g...hope dapat la yang aprtment 2 bilik 2..it juz nice tuk dia...huhuhuh...kesian dia...raya di perantauan...adui....sedih2...
i got a responds pasal my blog dlm email...huhuhu...ade yang ckp my blog mcm 2 emotional..more 2 love story... and ade gak yang ckp my english sux...huhuh...sorry la... dis blog juz like my diary..juz dat i open it 2 other bloggers... i will try 2 be more crius next time...and pasal my english standard...sorry la...english dapat band 4 jer...tapi hantam la labu...janji aku paham..hehehehe...btw..nape x tinggalkan komen jer...payah2 sent email..huhuh...

hurmmm... hari ni pening ckit.. make a silly decision...adui... malas nak pikir la... next blog i will tell u... a new actor in my life... after few months lost conntact..he come again... and now..he begging 4 something big...huhuh...life bcme more complicated...day by day...huhuhu...

a story of my friend....

it was a lonely day... she was on bed.. trying to stop thinking bout her angel.. y so sudden her angle treated her like hell.. his last massage really make her down and cried like a child...but does dis is what she really wants ol dis while??? avoiding her angle n let him go????? but why her heart juz like a broken class...cant b fix..destroyed...n its hurt... she try 2 cool down but she cant... she think it was over.. she put her ego d lowest level she could n sms her lovely angle...no reply...gosh..she must be with her..huhuhuhuhuhu...she cried...she cried...she cried...

she woke up from her bed.. get online..n chat wif someone.. maybe dat will make her forget bout him.. but why every time her sadness became deeper till she cant barely breath...something is wrong...she need her "life" fast...she took a few pain killer before but it wont works...only dat can help her..and at that time she was thinking...maybe its my time to say goodbye..but d pain dat she felt was xtrmly beyond everything dat she felt before...she need to c L fast...she need to let d pain goes away...so she called L..L refused to give her..coz L want her to stop and afraid he will be arrested again.. she was panic..cant imagine if she could survive wif d pain...gosh..

Z!!! yes Z...her old friend..she maybe got a few stock.. she took taxi and when 2 Z house... Z i would pay any price as long i got dat!!! plz!!!!!! Z said dont have stock n she not taking it for a while...y???? y she stop??? y im d only one who seem to adicted??? no! im not addicted..i juz need it 2 make my pain goes away...then suddenly Z said...y there blood at ur leg???? darn...whats wrong wif me dis time...??? and it was late..should she go 2 d hospital???? or juz back home??? she ask d taxi driver to sent her home...she dont feel anything at dat time..only dissapointed..miss her angle.. n jealousy... dos he having sex wif her girlfriend??? does he kiss her gf...does he .............. again she cried..dats d only thing she could do dat time..

she was home.. no one eccept her maid.. her maid was cleaning d kitchen dat time.. she ask her maid did she having dinner yet or not.. udah kak...she said.. she ask where does others go??? her maid said they went 2 grandma house... ya grandma... she miss her a lot...wanted 2 kiss her so much..but...she felt so tired...week and empty... she clean up her face and her blood.. n go to sleep..wishing she was dreaming all day long...but...

blood..she smell d blood..she felt it.. but she dont feel d pain..no..she really not...she juz lay on her bad.. holding her phone...and tried to sleep... 10..8...6mins.. she felt dat her oksigen is loosing away... she cried..again..her head feel like want 2 explode.. she call her mom..voice mail...she try again...gosh..only got a few cents... thinking..maybe..its was her destiny dying alone in her room..she getting weeker...and she only think bout her angle..she msg a few thing 2 him..but he nvr reply..she giving up...and her eyes cant c anything..getting darker...darker..and.............

she dreaming...its white...very peacefull world..am i death???? only god knew...she cried..then she hear a lil voice.. its her lil bro... calling her name...talking 2 hear wif his own languange...but where is he???i cant c him...i called him... but no answer... then she heard his crying.. so hard...im worried...what happened??? why is he crying????? why i cant see him...y???? mimie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! she called her lil bro... she woke up and crying.... she shocked???? blur????? she's really familiar wif d space and smeel... she's at the hospital... argh.....its hurt...her stomuch...her heart...her head..darn...she feel so week and fall asleep again...

she finally wakes up...her mom kiss and hug her..thanks god she's ok...but very mad coz hiding her sickness alone...but her mom dont noe what really happened.. she having an major operation..she loose a lot of blood and her lugs get infection..high fever and was suspected to H1n1 again...and she was coma for 5 days.. but..she's fine now..only theres a thing dat she cant tell her parents after meeting wif dr fabian... not for now.. she keep asking...why dont god juz let her die??? y she still survived???

now...she's not like she use to be... a friendly friend... full of happiness but now..less talking...more dreaming and ignoring people around...she need time...ya...she is...juz pray for her... only she feels the pain n suffer...she's....................................................... hoping for some light to cheer her up... and her angle?????...juz let it b... she trying hard...2 let him go...can she??? now...all she can b is pretender...actress in her own drama..juz waiting its to end...really...really end...