diz lil empty space

shit... its so empty...
i cant breath at all..
my greeny wont do his work..
help me 2 think wisely...
help me 2 feel alive...
gosh..what happen..
im scared... i cant breath..
plz someone..help me..
plz...

FUCK YOU!!!!

hahahhaa.... what a nice day....
2 days not working...
2 days wif my lovely greeny...
2 days wif hates...
2 days after trow away my pills..
2 days wif no ryzal..
2 days wif no life...
2 days wif no ayen...

yes..!!! ayen...
stupid me 4 loving him diz much..
stupid me 4 trusting him..
stupid me 4 make a wish every single n8 2 b wif him..
my stupid fucking ass...hoping he will care!!!!!!

what d fuck should i do take make him love me???
am i dat ugly???
am i dat dirty???
am i dat bitchy??
TELL ME!!!!

what sould i do 2 make my heart delete all d memories n love..
what should i do so dat i can erased him in my life??
should i kill myself then...
so dat he can laugh at me..
n say..."STUPID BITCH...such a loser???"..
perempuan x tau malu!!!!!

stupid!!!..move 2 KK so dat u can be close 2 him???
STUPID!!!... i am an idiot!!!!!!!!

im going back 2 kg..
be my own brother slave...
be hit every single day...
crying all n8...
walking like a zombie...
wif no life..
only blood..
and pain...

he has no mercy 2 me at all ....
he's no d men u used 2 noe..
who care a lot bout u..
he called u almost every single n8...
d one who be ur shoulder 2 cry...
now?????...

no mtr how i hate him...
my love for him stronger...
NO BODY CAN LOVE HIM LIKE I DO!!!...
ur future wif.. she may love u..but not like i do..
trust me...i noe...

mybe its time 4 me 2 walk away...
perhaps i will try...
get a life dear...
who are u 2 hv his love???
u r DIRTY...
U r Priceless...
U r nothing...
u r SHIT!!!!

hurt..yes...but my greenny owez wif me...
by best friend...
it can make stop crying..
it can make me forgot about ayen 4 a while..

hehehhee...thanx greeny...

morning..

huhuh.. i miss you my lil teaddy... hehehe...i think blogging myself xde la i sunyi sangat kan...lalalala...(ye r 2)..huhuhu...
diz morning..teringin nak mamam roti canai...huhuh...
jom...pasti nak g mandi..cr keje...budget lari dah.. nak cari part time keje..
chaiyok2!!!!!!.... my teddy jgn notty2 k...muahz...
adios amigos...!!!

sleeppy.....

*^#%&@(&@^*@(((@*^@&@^*&@(*)@()@()@&@^*@^&%@&!)()#*@(&@*(&@(....cant sleep..
(*#E@&^#&@^#*@#)@(#*)(@&#*(&^&%$@*(&@(*_@(@ crazy!!1
(@#@*^#&@%&*@^*(@_)#(@_)()bising!
*&#*@^#&@^#*@_*@_$*@)$(@+($@+$(_@$&...huhu...
&#^&@^#(@&@*$_@*$_@*$)@$&@$*@& bengong!!!

(T_T)

huhu..juz back from pharmacy..
cant sleep last n8...
my pain killer no more working..
n feel like hell...huhuhu

balik je ingtkan nak tdo jap..
then owner rumah plak xsiap2 g vacum rumah..
adui.. if ade duit lebih btr dok rumah sewa jer...
drp duduk bilik sewa..huhuhu...dugaan..

miss my ganny n mimie so much..
agaknya how r they doing??
huhuh...semogo ALLAH lindungi mereka..

hurmm...azrin ade call...but xnak jwp..
xmo kantoi..huhuh..x jadi wat operation..
biarlah die nak fikir ape pun..
ade die kesah meh???
but dalam hati ni..b4 nafas terakhir nak sgt g jumpe die..
juz 2 c him...dats all...
huhuh..

kesian nyamuk.. die selalu toupkan..
but i nvr reply..dats y kene return balik credit..
budak ni so damn degil..
sape suruh sakitkan ht aku..
kan xnak layan..

hurmm...bro still cari aku x/
nak balik jumpe nenek!!!..
huhuh...
so lonely...
boleh rs saat kematian ku makin dekat..
uwa...nenek..misss u..

aiya...bile la mak nenek rumah ni siap kemas rumah..dah almost 3...ngantok siot..huhuhuh...

god hear my prays

morning...
wlpun x really sihat 2day..
but im happy..
ayen sms me last n8..
juz simple sms "u ok?"
but its make me smile ol n8 long..
god heard my prays...

n nyamok did called also... but i cant answer his call..
i cant reply his sms..

ayen...nyamok..miss u guys so much..
esp u ayen..
i wish u were here..
hugging me n kissing me..
i miss u beb..
so much...

huhuh.. sakit...
mo tdo..!!!!...
nop!!...i cant..
need 2 work!!
huhuh..help me again god..
berikan aku kekuatan melawan penyakit ini..
amin...

derita merindu

Salam..
Ntah bape lame dah x memblogkan diri…
I do miss my patato maniac..
Ive told my self 2 delete diz blog… but I cant..
2much memories…hope no one notice
Ive opened my emails juz now… a lots of emails from nyamuk..
I miss him so much…but still can forgive what have he done 2 me..
But I do love him as my lil bro…n I miss him..

Now..im totally a loner..
Berdiri di bumi asing..seorang diri..
Ive decided 2 move away from my old nite mare..
Where ol people around me breaking me down..
Wanted me 2 be part of their nasty life..

now..im happy….meniti hari-hari terakhir…
n 2day.. I miss him.. d one n only… d men who owned my heart..
mr ayen… gosh…y im crying??? Stupid!!!
I miss him… a lot… almost crying every single n8..
Wishing he would be mine..
But it has been quit long..
We are invisible..
But criusly I miss him so much…
I miss 2 hear his voice..2 c his smile..Share our story..
I miss everything bout him…

I really don’t noe… y he is so special 2 me..
Ive tried so many time.. erased him from my life..
Try 2 have a new relationship wif someone..
But yet I cant… I cant stop thinking bout him…
X mintak pun perasaan ini hadir…
X mintak pun kerinduaan ini hadir..
I don’t ask 4 anything…
Walaupun he don’t want me anymore..
Plz god don’t take dis feeling away from me..
I don’t mind 2 suffer like dis..
As long my heart keep loving him..
My love for him is so pure…

Beb.. I miss u… u tau x…
I noe u happy wif ur life..
N dats d only reason im still alive..
U r d reason ill keep moving on…
I x pernah lupakn u beb..
Wlpun ade insan lain yg cuba utk merapati diri i..
I dah cuba menipu diri sendiri..
But I really cant stop loving u..
Bodoh kan..
Its ok beb if u ignoring me…
As long u x benci i..
As long I tau u pernah sayangkan i…
Sampi mati I xkan lupakn u beb..
I sayang u sangat2..
N im happy u wif her..
I doa sgt die cintakan u like I do..
Ur love is priceless beb..
Priceless…!!!!

I miss mimie… I miss nenekz… I miss my mummy..
YA ALLAH..kau lindungilah mereka…
Insan2 kesayanggan ku…
Andai ini surattan hidupku..
Aku redha.. biarlah aku tanggong dosaku sendiri..
Kau ambillah nyawa ku ya ALLAH..
Insan hina di sisi mu…

N ayen… semoga u berbahagia dgn insan pilihanmu..
Tapi xkan ada insan lain yang akan mencintaimu sprtku..
Hingga ke akhir nafasku…hanya aku milikmu…
Nyamok.. sis doakan yang terbaik dear…
Cinta nyamok untk sis sia2…sis xlayak untuk insan baik mcm nyamok..

Huhuh…ni yang malas blogging ni…banjir!!!
Salam my dear blog…panjang umur kt jumpe lgi k..
Hahhaha..skalo…